Just for fun, and because it IS Labor Day (when EVERYBODY oughtta just “take a break” and kick up their heels a little) I thought it’d be cool to tell ya the story of the day my whiskerlickers (ie, cats) took over the PC:

Y’see, the cats like to hang out in my upstairs office. One afternoon — having finished my paperwork — I took my Westie, Brandi, out for a walk.
Leaving the computer on and shutting the door behind me, I went downstairs and, with scruffy canine on her leash, started out of the house.

Well, I thought I’d shut the door behind me! Apparently, one of my “Meow Mafia” found that it didn’t “catch”, and pushed it open. This, of course, led to a wave of feline foragers infiltrating the room — and, with a blank Word document on the monitor, the temptation to check out my keyboard was too strong for them.

Finding all kinds of strange characters on that page when I returned, I could just imagine the four largest cats (Sugar, Gadget, Doo-Wop and K-Cat) seizing the chance to take over and express their opinions (either that, or trying to order cat food over E-Bay®!).

Doo-Wop: Hey, guys, LOOK! Th’ old man’s left his writing thing on! Let’s see if we c’n type somethin’ like he does!

Sugar: Um …. I dunno, man! Is that Brillo-backed excuse for a mutt around here?

Doo-Wop: Naaaah … she’s gone for a walk. (He looks puzzled at the keyboard) Hey … any of y’all know how to work this thing?

Sugar: Awwww, move over, Friskie-face! I’ve seen th’ old man use this, so it can’t be that hard! Now … what to talk about? (he stops to think, then perks up his ears) I know! Hey, Gadget … how do ya spell “neutering”?

Gadget: O-U-C-H!! But why are ya writin’ about that?? We oughtta tell them to send cat food or somethin’!

K-cat (entering the room with a scrunched-up nose): WHOOOOO-EEEEE!! Don’t y’all go back to th’ litter box for a few minutes, ya hear? It’s a mite pungent … HEY!! You’re on the ol’ man’s writin’ thing!

Gadget: Yeah … Sugar’s tellin’ folks some stuff about fixin’ cats …

K-cat: Why? Did one of us break or somethin’??

Doo-Wop: Awww, get serious, Stinky! There’s so many little kittens out there with no home, scroungin’ outta trash cans and sick. Heck, I see ‘em everytime I’m up there in the man’s kitchen window, catchin’ some rays …

K-cat: Brother, you can’t even catch a decent mouse! But I saw ‘em, too … and grown humans can’t take care of all of ‘em! There’s just too many …

Sugar: D-UH! … that’s why I’m writin’ this, dude! See, folks’ve gotta remember to get their pets fixed so it won’t be like that.

Gadget: Yeah. the man. took us to that vetur … that vetra … that doctor up the street, remember? It don’t cost a lot, and it didn’t hurt us!

Doo-Wop: Hmph … speak for yourself, specs! I couldn’t scratch myself for weeks! But you’re right. I mean, about the … whatcha call it? Nootering? An’, ’sides that, the humans oughtta watch out for their pets … sometimes, when they get out, they could get dead by one o’ them big things the man calls “cars.” Or by big, mean dogs or somethin’!

K-Cat: Yeahhhh! Well, ‘cept BRANNN-deeeee! That mutt can’t even catch her own tail! (all the cats begin to laugh as K-Cat continues) Anyway, why don’tcha write about that new thing on the magic picture box that the man likes to watch? I think it’s called the Dog Whisperer, or something.

Gadget: Oh, yeah! It’s where that man … what’s his name? Ummmm, Cesar sumpthin’, an’ he shows how to train (hee!hee!) dogs! It’s on that Aminal Planet TV channel.

Doo-Wop: Hmph … hasn’t done much for that overgrown flea-flicker that lives here, has it?? Ya notice they never haveta do that with us?? Shoot … just give us a little room, some good food and water, and we’re good to go!

K-cat: And please – after what I been through …don’t forget … a clean litter box!

Gadget: But the human Cesar takes the dogs, an’ … an’ makes ‘em learn to do something called heel, and be good, not bite … you know, stuff like that.

Sugar: Yeah … and didja know that when doggies are fixed, sometimes they’re easier to train? An’ it doesn’t cost a bunch of those green papers humans call money, either!

K-Cat: Cool! Hey … while you’re on that thingy, see if the ol’ man got any o’that HE-mail he talks about. Mebbe somebody’s got a purty girl cat …

Gadget (anxiously guarding the door): NO TIME!! Hurry … the ol’ man’s just come in the back door!

So they all take off like a flash, knocking off the keyboard, turning over the chair – and leaving a mess on the desktop! .

Anyway, HAPPY LABOR DAY, EVERYBODY! (Now, where did I put that pooper-scoop??)

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